It’s common knowledge in my household that Monday at 5:55 a.m. is the worst time of the week. That’s because Monday is a running day, and I hate running.
I have always hated running. In elementary school, I dreaded the mile run test and was always in the back with my fellow gym class rejects. In college, I was the only baseball player who could stretch a double into a single.
I’m 6 feet 7 inches tall and overly leggy, with knees that wobble in six different directions when I run. And yet, it’s crucial — especially in middle age — to challenge one’s body with a little intense exercise every week.
I don’t have access to a pool or lake, my ceilings are too low for trampolines and doing more than one HIIT workout per week quickly gets boring. Running offers intensity while distracting me with pretty scenery. Besides, 20 minutes later, I feel amazing.
After years of tinkering with ways to start running, I have finally come up with a three-part recipe for learning to tolerate this horrible form of exercise.
But before you start, make sure you are doing fun movements on other days. If your only exercise is running and, like me, you hate it, you won’t stick with it. Walk if you like that, swim if it’s your jam. I have a kickboxing dummy, a pull-up bar and some battle ropes that I genuinely look forward to using. Don’t make every workout a slog.
Hack No. 1: Reprogram your brain.
In past stories for the Well desk, we have mentioned the importance of “reward bundling.” That’s a fancy term for treating yourself every time you do something that you don’t want to. But what we haven’t said is that reward bundling can actually train your brain as if you were a drooling dog.
Here’s how it works: One of my favorite podcasts is a movie review show called “The Rewatchables,” with Bill Simmons. I listen so often that I feel like Bill and his crew are actually my friends. But I never allow myself to listen unless I am running or getting ready to run. Ever.
This was essential, because in the short term, I started to look forward to running just so I could hang out with my imaginary friends and get their takes on “Forrest Gump” or whatever. And over time, something strange happened. I would wake up feeling dead set against running, flip on the podcast and suddenly be in the mood.
Psychologists call this either “classical conditioning” or “that thing that Ivan Pavlov did to his dogs when he pressed a buzzer before dinnertime.” Eventually, every time he did, the dog drooled. Humans are susceptible to this as well; it’s a key part of the placebo effect and modern marketing.
“I love it, it’s like a ritual,” Dr. Luana Colloca, a psychology professor at the University of Maryland and an expert in classical conditioning and placebo effects, said of my method.
Dr. Colloca said that she does something similar, except with smell. Every time she starts a Peloton session, she lights a lemon-scented candle. Now, just smelling that scent subtly puts her in the mood to ride.
Even when she’s not really feeling like exercising, she said, “it’s sort of an automatic response.”
Hack No. 2: Take breaks, but follow the plan.
I was raised to believe that runners run. They don’t walk — that’s for walkers. So I usually run up the small hill near my house and then down a big hill. But on the way back up that monster, I occasionally (OK, fine, almost always) walk.
Every time I slow down or rest, it feels and sounds like failure, often because I’m muttering expletives. But Chris Beedie, a sports psychologist and professor at Kent University, said that I need to realign my thinking.
“We’re not living in the 1970s anymore. There’s no ‘walking is a sign of weakness,’” he chided. “It’s a structured part of your movement.”
If you want to go for a 40-minute run, Mr. Beedie said, plan your timed breaks beforehand, perhaps every 10 minutes. Or plan to take them whenever your heart rate rises to a certain level or when you reach a hill.
Almost all of the serious marathoners he talks to take breaks at some point, and those breaks can even make for faster times overall. However, stopping altogether is not great for the body, he said, so I should try to at least walk. And presumably save my breath by not cursing at the pavement.
Hack No. 3: Get a dog.
Some days, even podcasts and promises of breaks aren’t enough to get me out the door. For that, I have Snitch, a slightly dopey, highly enthusiastic dog who waits at my door every Monday at 5:55 a.m.
Snitch needs exercise like Cookie Monster needs sugar, and if I don’t take her running, there’s a good chance she will take it out on my shoes.
Research suggests that dog owners (especially ones in Scandinavia) may live longer than the rest of us, presumably because furry friends make us happier and more active. And while some are skeptical of this, I would argue it’s all about the kind of dog you get.
If you are looking for a running partner pet, I recommend a breed that’s athletic, but not too athletic. A pug is no good, but don’t make my mistake either. Snitch is a husky/beagle/gazelle mix who once lasted 16 miles on a set of mountain trails and looked ready for another 16. She’s exhausting. Find a middle ground — friendly with a dash of lazy.
In the end, I can’t promise that you will ever come to enjoy running. I’ve been doing it for two years now and I still mostly hate it. But every now and then, with the sun coming over the mountains, my buddy Bill in my ear and Snitch frolicking like an unhinged hyena at my side, I’m glad I made the effort.
