We know we should get a physical exam every year; we have annual reviews at work; some couples even do periodic relationship audits. And yet many of us don’t regularly check in with our emotional health — though it is arguably the most important contributor to overall well-being.
The New York Times talked to experts in clinical psychology, positive psychology, flourishing, thriving, resilience and burnout about what contributes to a sense of well-being and how to evaluate it. Then we came up with a series of questions adapted from these conversations, as well as from prompts in four common psychological assessments.
This self-guided exercise won’t give you a “wellness score” or ranking, and it shouldn’t be used as a diagnostic tool or a substitute for professional help. Instead, these types of questions are meant to get you thinking about different aspects of your life and mental health, and help you identify what’s working and where you might make adjustments, said Tyler VanderWeele, the director of the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University.
While some aspects of well-being are out of our control, many are within it. And the first step toward improving something is to assess it.
Take some quiet time to contemplate the following questions, then read about how each one relates to well-being. You may want to grab a pen and paper to jot down your thoughts.
How would you describe your mood most days?
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Is it generally positive, generally negative or a mix?
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Do you tend to feel more positive or negative emotions throughout the day? (Think joy, love or awe versus anger, sadness or anxiety.)
Is your inner monologue more self-critical or self-compassionate?
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When trying something new, do you think you’re going to succeed, or are you sure you’re going to fail?
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If you make a mistake, do you beat yourself up afterward, or do you give yourself the benefit of the doubt?
How is your physical health, generally?
Do you feel like you have strong relationships with family, friends, neighbors or co-workers?
Are there things in your life that give you a sense of meaning or purpose? (This could be through work, volunteering, hobbies, a religious community or caring for others.)
Do you feel like there are things in your life that you’re good at?
How often do you feel completely absorbed in what you’re doing?
Do you feel like you are generally in control of your life?
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Do you feel like you have autonomy and agency, at work and at home?
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Do you make the major decisions about your life, or does someone else?
Do you have enough financial resources to support yourself and your family?
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Do you ever have to worry about necessities, like food or housing?
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Do you have the resources and support you need to do your job well?
Do you feel like the world is generally a fair place?
Generally speaking, how satisfied are you with your life?
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Have you achieved, or are you on the path to achieve, most of the important things you wanted?
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Are there major aspects of your life that you would change?
If, after moving through these questions, you feel like things in your life aren’t going as well as you want them to, consider reaching out to a professional. Try talking to your primary care provider about your mental health, or search for a local therapist or psychiatrist on the Psychology Today and American Psychiatric Association websites.
